Psalm 1

1 Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
2 but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

3 He is like a tree
planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.
4 The wicked are not so,
but are like chaff that the wind drives away.

5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;
6 for the Lord knows the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.

“He is like a tree, planted by streams of water, that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that He does, he prospers.” [PS 1:3]

I have always admired nature as it presents the trait of patience, endurance, and kindness; all qualities that I deeply admire. Thus, I have always wanted to become a person who is like a tree—someone who embodies those characteristics.

A tree’s growth is heavily dependent and influenced by its surroundings and its environment. Similarly, I am influenced and led by my environment—this reminded me of Pastor Andrew's sermon when he talked about our human nature to follow something; as much as our pride tells us that we are leaders, we are followers, we are so easily influenced by the world and tempted by sin. If we are not following Christ, our ultimate leader, we are led by the world, culture, people, and by sin. And in reflecting on my everyday life, in the things I do and say, I am convicted of my own sins. Those many moments when I am quick to speak, judge, and anger; the times when I stand and sit with the sinners and the scoffers who mock and look away from Jesus because I fear the world; or the occasions I ignore God because of my selfishness and convenience. But these are the exact moments that pull me away from God and the way of life, and into the world of wickedness—and as this psalm says, the wicked are “like chaff which the wind drives away…[and] will not stand in the judgment…” [PS 1:4-5] And to put it just plainly, I just don’t want to be like chaff that gets tossed and turned in the wind—I want to be a tree that is able to stand firm through the storm.

Being home, I oftentimes feel like I am in a spiritual desert and in a constant spiritual battle—where sometimes I see so clearly (and sometimes not) how satan pokes and digs at my weakest spots at my most vulnerable moments. Especially being in an environment called home, where I expect and suppose it to be a safe space. It disguises salt as sugar and rubs it in my wounds, tempting me with my own selfishness and desires in my lowest points, eating and cutting away the very vine that sustains me when I need it the most.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” [JHN 15:5]

And being in such a comfortable environment, I find it so easy to be plopped back into my old self and ways—standing and sitting with my sins and lazyness, feeling unworthy of God’s grace and love, turning away from His presence. I get tossed and turned by what others and myself say about who I am and what my worth is. I become desperate to be the person _______ and I only to realize that my old self, is actually just who I am. I am like a tree that fails to yield its fruit in its season, its leaf wither, and in all that it does, it fails. I am a broken person with flaws that seems unfixable and with passion that dies. I see a lot of the weaknesses that I faced all my teenage years and realize those temptations are still very real as I face them every day, left and right.

But this psalm, I cry to be replanted by the streams of His water. In Tim Keller’s sermon,
and not only reminds me to keep His words close as He is the one who supplies and nurtures but also to “be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” [1 PET 5:8-9] and to trusts that “the LORD will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.” [ISA 58:11]

As this psalm sings, I pray that through what this season feels like a spiritual desert, I am able to plant myself by the streams of water, rooting down in a place where I am getting constant nourishment from God, who is the ultimate source of strength, patience, love, and grace. He heals my wounds and watches over me day and night—only He can grow me into a tree, in His firm foundation. I pray for strength and that my heart will not stand in the ways of sinners, or sit with the scoffers, but will delight in the law of the LORD and that I may “take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm” [EPH 6:13]—to feed on and grow in His words day and night, knowing that His words are “my joy and my heart’s delight, for I bear your name, Lord God Almighty.” [JER 15:16]

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