Providence

Providence, derived from the word 'provide,' means the guardianship and care provided by God, and it holds a special place in my heart as both a concept and a city in Rhode Island where I spent four meaningful years. It was in Providence that I felt the presence of God, where He revealed His works and goodness to me, making the city a living example of divine providence.

Transitioning to post-grad life and moving from Rhode Island back to New Jersey, I found myself grappling with the absence of that sense of Providence—guidance and protection—once I stepped out of my comfort zone.

In this uncertain journey, questions arose about what it means to be cared for and guided, especially when not physically present in a place that held such spiritual significance for me. It was in the book of Proverbs that I discovered a profound answer to my queries.

Despite months of praying for wisdom, it was only now that I truly grasped its purpose. Wisdom, I realized, serves to watch over and guard us in our walk with God. While my initial desire for wisdom stemmed from wanting to be perceived as a "wise woman of God," I eventually acknowledged my selfish intentions. Still, I continued to seek wisdom, questioning whether it was wrong to desire godly character for personal growth and pride.

The revelation hit me when I recognized the essential need for wisdom to navigate the challenges of life. Stripped of all justifications and standing on the edge, I understood that seeking God's providence meant seeking His wisdom. Proverbs 1 vividly paints the image of wisdom calling out like a mother to her lost child—a poignant realization that urged me to cry out for wisdom in the same way.

In moments of desperation, facing the adversary's gaze on life's tightrope, I found myself internally screaming for God, pleading for wisdom. The urgency wasn't driven by self-image or pride but by the dire need for His protection and guidance. This experience shattered the walls of my pride, revealing my vulnerability. In that moment, I sought wisdom not for my sake but to maintain my footing in my heavenly father's embrace. It was a profound realization that, when recognized, allowed wisdom to come and lift me off my feet in divine assurance.